Oh Peanut. I suppose I’m not writing this for you anymore, because there is now no chance you’re ever going to read it.

I didn’t know I could be so sad. You’re gone, and all I want in the world is to have you back, but that can never happen.

How can I miss you so much when I never met you? The thing is, I feel like I knew you. The you that I was planning for and dreaming about was so real to me. And so I grieve for you.

You can never be replaced. You will always be my first and much-loved child.

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